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Self-Confidence ~ ending criticism
Self-confidence is a prerequisite for success, it is that which supports us in the crucial moments of life.
It is the same which helps us rise up when we fall.
Its first signs come to form even prior to our taking our first steps.
Its quality dependent on its environment, the environmental stimuli and the nature of its feedback.
In a growing learning space, every experience of success and failure, any positive or negative reaction, can serve as a value stored by the mind.
Thus, early exposure to repeated criticism reinforces negative views, which are assimilated as the truth.
The mind adopts the content and follows the example by mimicking judgmental habits.
This is only made worse in the absence of a supportive environment, where compassion, understanding, patience and warmth are lacking.
Ultimately, the tendency toward criticism harms our self-image and holds the power to become self-destructive.
A mind bent on looking for flaws within or without prevents our growth and drives us away from our goals.
Luckily, self-esteem is not fixed, adding knowledge and understanding while practicing the right tools, leads to change.
With that in mind, we can look at moments of insecurity as rare opportunities to discover ourselves in the right light.
We can shift our state of mind and opt to see all that is good and put an end to criticism.
Self-confidence ~ the emotional world of self-awareness
“Trust your experience, but keep refining your view.” Dzogchen Saying
In the skill box of the mind stands self-awareness, which relies on emotional capacities that are fine-tuned throughout life.
These can be seen on a continuum, shaped and perfected by our interactions with the environment, refining our ability to discern emotions.
The first belongs to the field of measurement, our attentiveness to emotions arising and their effects on both body and mind.
The second concerns the area of evaluation, our awareness and objective perception of strengths and limitations, here stands our self-worth.
The third relates to the realm of recognition, our cognizance of self-worth and capabilities, that’s where the imaginary boundaries of self-confidence are set.
Like all systems that command both mind and the body, these contribute and assist one another, for better or worse.
Fortunately, these skills are not set in stone, thanks to the mind learning abilities, they can be improved and perfected.
Right Faith ~ the power in me
“Believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be.” Snyder
Self-confidence is the conviction that we have what it takes within ourselves to handle new challenges.
Trusting in our ability to learn and grow, to get far and rebound from our failures.
Our beliefs about our capabilities turn-out to have profound effects on our attitudes towards things.
They weigh on our choices and decisions, as well as on our emotional investment and behaviors.
In the face of life’s obstacles and challenges, one’s attitude will be informed by one’s views.
Those who remember they hold the competence to strive and overcome, mobilize and act decisively.
In contrast those having little faith in themselves, lack the energy that drives into action.
As a result they may find difficult navigating problems and steering away from anxiety and fear.
Self-confidence is as sensitive to the influence of external factors as to internal factors, that’s where meditation comes in.
We work at cultivating the right attitude, one free of self-criticism, to grow emotional resistance, to trust ourselves.
Mind training rests on the idea that potential is latent in everyone, it only needs uncovering and tending.
Meditation invites a soft an honest exploration of our totality, brought to the light our potential can begin to ripen.
Insecurity ~ what do we do when doubt takes command?
“At all times and in all situations, use all anxieties and doubts as the cutting edge of your practice.” Dudjom Lingpa, Alan Wallace
Despite our efforts to maintain optimism, life does not always cooperate, difficulties and obstacles make it hard to believe in ourselves.
In spite of our many capabilities, number of successes and progress, it seems our mind is easily seized by doubt.
Once here, if not kept in check, doubt start polluting our mind by spreading negative messages.
A reasonable degree of doubt is wise, it compels us to act with caution, but turns into an hindrance when it becomes central.
When doubt dominates our mind, it drives us to question our self-worth by exposing us to an umbrella of difficult questions.
Am I enough? Am I worth it? Will I succeed?
The answers are usually mixed.
As we allow doubt space, we will oscillate between cautious optimism and pessimism.
If we try to block it out, we are soon sucked into it.
So what do we do¿ to turn things around we use a question for a question strategy.
For instance, what’s enough and why? Equal to what and to whom?
The moment doubt comes up, we will deal with it, we don’t ignore it and we don’t fight it.
We keep skeptical and most importantly, we remember that it all starts with a sincere approach.
Cultivating positive emotions ~ builds self-confidence
“The wise man learns to meet the changing circumstances of life with equitable spirit, being neither elated by success, nor depressed by failure.” Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai
In mind training we build our self-confidence while at the same time we work to better ourselves.
Using a variety of meditation techniques, we look within, we take apart and reassemble; we grow and change.
So on the one hand, we seeks to observe and analyze the content that paints the self-image, to assess its credibility.
On the other, we encourage healthy states of mind by practicing meditation on compassion, joy, gratitude, and loving kindness which increase confidence.
These emotions contribute to how we relate to ourselves, they serve as reinforcing factors in the process of inquiry.
Using this approach adds a measure of softness and openness which facilitates our getting to know ourselves.
In doing so, it keeps us away from the negative feelings of disgust, anger, and fear, making the discovery less hostile.
Owing to a combined practice we gradually bring to light the “truths” we hold about ourselves.
We learn to listen-in to the voice that resonates from within.
Every stone is turned on the way so we don’t hold fallacious views, we explore with curiosity.
And when doubt arises, we remember to use the tools on the spot.
In hardships we grow, in challenges we come to our ripening, wise are those who sees in these opportunities.
Occasions to cultivate faith in themselves, to invite doubt to the meditation pillow, to come to trust in their abilities, to trust themselvesॐ
Nathalie Bizawi, founder of Wisdom & Mindfulness meditation center. Senior Meditation, Mindfulness and philosophy instructor, From Wingate Academic College. M.A in Education from TAU University, Tel Aviv.
Wisdom & Mindfulness your meditation center in Tel Aviv.