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Craving and the nature of the mind
“Craving is the yearning for something.” Guy Armstrong, Joseph Goldstein
Craving is defined as a function of the mind, which activates when it comes in contact with objects.
It is here to make sure that we get what we want.
Thus, the urge “to get” is not under our control but under the control of a complex age-old mechanism.
Designed to ensure our survival, it works to drive a response.
It turns out that our wanting things and the desire to get them find its source in a somewhat conscious decision.
One that is led by the belief that these will lead us to lasting happiness and satisfaction, often mistakenly.
Many would surely argue that there is nothing wrong in “wanting”, but…
If we would agree for a moment to put our dream list to the test, we would find that we’re addicted.
It doesn’t end, in every realm of life we‘re driven by desire, because we see in these objects markers of identity.
We define ourselves by that same shopping list and if we cannot acquire it we’re distressed, negative emotions soon follow.
The closer we are to the thought that “this is a must,” the more it takes up space in our mind.
Consequently, the mental chatter that arises from disturbing thoughts causes suffering.
Although, we have no control over the built-in mechanism, as of most mechanisms of the mind, we can teach it otherwise.
The suffering of craving
“Once craving is activated, we are on the road to suffering.” Guy Armstrong, Joseph Goldstein
Craving holds a number of functions; to attain the object of desire, keep out the unwanted and make the situation ideal.
Throughout the day, our mind is swayed by thoughts revolving around “What I don’t have” and thoughts about “What I have”.
These serve as reminders that we’ve yet to reach the coveted, and claims on its behalf are multiplying.
As a result, we’re convinced that as long as things don’t meet our expectations, we won’t know true happiness.
In truth, whatever our present situation is, it’s never enough.
Whether we’re craving for some trivial object or something important, it has the potential to hurt us.
The more we want, the longer we wait for it or the “thing” is kept from us, the more we’ll suffer.
Until the object is ours, influenced by a latent sense of lack, we’ll plan and think of ways to attain it.
Under increasing pressure, we’re impelled to act both mentally and physically, unfortunately not always in our best interest.
The same holds true for objects and situations that are not to our liking, which trigger our craving for change.
The urge to make things fit only leads to struggle.
Given that life isn’t always satisfying and we often find ourselves stuck in undesirable situations, what do we do? We seek.
We look for a solution that will put an end to our dissatisfaction as quickly as we possibly can.
That not only takes energy but it also keeps us from enjoying what we have here and now.
Craving and clinging
“With the arising of craving there is the arising of clinging.” The Dalai Lama, Bhikkhu Bodhi
The suffering of craving is not only caused by our need for achievement, but also by the chain reaction it activates.
Craving doesn’t work alone – in its arsenal, accompanying states of mind that make matters worse and aggravate our reactions.
Close to craving, where our mind determines the desired object, enters clinging which drives us to latches on until it’s ours.
As soon as the object is perceived as “mine”, the need to hang-on and protect by any means necessary comes up.
The more we’re convinced we cannot live without, the greater the feeling of need.
And when desire is strong, it can turn into greed and that leads to unhealthy attachment.
Our being far from what we want becomes the focus of our mental chatter, dissatisfaction takes root and that is suffering.
Thus craving and its associate clinging are responsible for the parade of negative emotions we experience.
Sadly, the emotional roller-coaster on which we find ourselves takes a toll on our environment as well.
Acting upon these emotions, trying to end the anguish, busying with “how to get” and “how to keep” only hurts everyone.
Given all these are by-products of craving, it makes sense to investigate where from spring our desires, so things are clear.
The discrimination of craving
“As living beings, we have our needs, desires, and cravings, and we have our discrimination.” Thich Nhat Hanh
We believe that we’re objective when it comes to our desires and not only that, we’re sure we know what’s right.
However, if we would for a moment to take a closer look at how things were determined, we would be surprised.
We seem to make conscious choices as to what’s good and what’s not, but it is far from true.
What we don’t know is that behind the scenes our mind takes shortcuts, a way of saving time and energy.
Thus some decisions aren’t guided by reflection, but on quick comparisons of criteria, which depend on the observer in the moment.
Deceived by the subconscious mind, we’re convinced that the truth lies behind the feeling that just emerged.
In effect, our labeling this or that translates into excitement or rejection.
Henceforth, we’ll work to acquire or keep off, failing to revisit our choice, we’ll discriminate in favor of one or another.
In retrospect we may find that the effort did not foster the desired result.
The rope of suffering wrapped around craving’s neck is caused by our mind tendency to arbitrarily categorize the pleasant and unpleasant.
Dependent on the vantage point, under the same conditions and circumstances, the pleasant and unpleasant can trade places.
Similarly, different conditions and circumstances may bring about the same labels to change again.
Confused¿ Life finds us in different mindsets, more or less happy, more or less self-confident, and it makes all the difference.
What makes us give up wanting?
Look closely at your desires
“To seek the fulfillment of any desire, no matter what it is, always brings sorrow.” Jiddu Krishnamurti
When it comes to desires, we’re still children inside, there’s no bottom to the wishing well.
One desire brings about another and we’re never really satisfied.
A culture of consumption, education, and technology strengthen our mind’s innate tendency for craving, sanctifying achievement under the guise of happiness.
So we long for comfort, we want more and more, we dream of growth and work to win.
Without us even noticing, we’re drawn in the vortex of a world full of stimuli.
And it does not stop there, we’ve been told that “if we don’t have” there’s ample reason for guilt and shame.
No wonder we have issues dealing with delayed gratification.
We have a hard time with “no” just the same as with “not now”, the farther the desire the more distress.
The white noise it generates drives us into action, we rush to get what we need, even if there’s no need.
Blinded by the wondrous object, we believe it will lead to ultimate happiness, we forget we might change our mind tomorrow.
Worse still, our being preoccupied by future acquisitions prevents us from appreciating where happiness is readily available.
Meanwhile we go through the motions and we suffer.
Go free through mindfulness training
“In the absence of striving, there is peace; in the absence of desire, there is satisfaction.” Lao Tzu
Buddhist mind training considers craving as the cause of human suffering, a mental habit we must relinquish if we want happiness.
It invites us to explore the source of desire, to observe thoughts, feelings and emotions, and learn to sit in “nothingness”.
Why is it important? Because we cannot expect to always be comfortable and contented, life is full of ups and downs.
Additionally, we seek to uncover the underlying need hiding behind our desire, whether it’s a sense of security, belonging or love.
We train to identify the signs of craving, stop the lacking mind when it kicks-in by reminding ourselves there’s no lack.
The practice leads us to recognize that physical objects serve as temporary fix for internal needs.
We no longer cultivate the notion they hold the answer.
Instead, we welcome what we have, we develop emotional resilience, we cultivate love and appreciation for ourselves; we lean on compassion.
We try not to fall into craving’s trap, knowing it holds no real value, we trust our inner wealth is plentyॐ
Nathalie Bizawi, founder of Wisdom & Mindfulness meditation center. Senior Meditation, Mindfulness and philosophy instructor, From Wingate Academic College. M.A in Education from TAU University, Tel Aviv.
Wisdom & Mindfulness your meditation center in Tel Aviv