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Forbearance is strength
“Only the inner protection of patient forbearance can keep us from experiencing the turmoil of negative thoughts and emotions.” The Dalai Lama
Forbearance is a quality, it expresses itself in patience, in the ability to forgive and control ourselves in times of difficulty.
Not all that we encounter is to our liking yet sometimes we have no choice but to take it as is.
Whenever resistance and opposition come our way, we can respond to it negatively or constructively.
For us mere humans it takes a measure of fortitude to endure hardships, thankfully that can be cultivated and nurtured.
Easy come easy go
While you may view forbearance as stubbornness, it is far from it, it may imply tenacity but not only…
First, it shows understanding and a level of pliability, one that supports our efforts and keeps us going.
Second, it is a mindset that knows to persevere without pushing, to allow without pulling, and to adapt as needed.
Lastly, it takes its source in humility and the realization that not all that we perceive as negative is necessarily so.
Forbearance | firm but gentle
“Many demons come to bully me, but I always practice forbearance and don’t offer any opposition.” Hsuan Hua
In the course of one’s lifetime, we are met with testing situations and difficult individuals, sadly these tend to frighten us.
As a result, we react not from our ‘thinking brain’ but from our ‘emotional brain’ thus making things worse.
Granted at times we may have no other recourse than to fight back, still that can be free of anger.
Then again, we might have no other option than surrender, yet it can be done with no sense of loss.
Your mindset matters
The way you approach things is extremely important because it informs your actions, so think it over…
The attitude you embrace should be one resolved to see things through without letting it affect you.
Persevere without force, put your mind to work in the service of what you want, work around snags.
Draw on every ounce of patience you have in you, let go of the need to control what you can’t, relax.
Forbearance never gives in to negativity
“On the principle of forbearance, we do not quarrel even in the midst of a hostile crowd.” W.Y. Evans-Wentz, Christmas Humphreys, Wong Mou-Lam, A. F. Price
A negative mindset is of no assistance to you, whatever you are dealing with stay clear of judgment.
Don’t forget your mind is naturally inclined to blow things out of proportion, take a step back.
Stay mindful of your thoughts since they impact your overall experience, don’t feed your mind poison.
Do not let subjectivity cloud your view, try to be as impartial as you can, even if it’s personal to you.
Always enthusiastic
Forbearance is everything but miserable, because it is born out of wisdom it holds a positive outlook.
Difficulties can be seen as stepping stones or obstacles, as opportunities or complications, you pick.
Your reactions are dependent on your stand point, the lesser negative labels the better you are.
Be watchful, the ideas you entertain have power, pay attention these can lead to undesirable results.
Withstanding difficulties
“If you expect your life to be up and down, your mind will be much more peaceful.” Lama Thubten Yeshe, Nicholas Ribush
We are moving to the beat of the drum with its highs and lows, there’s no escaping from it.
The best we can do is to let go of childish expectations and prepare ourselves the best we can.
This includes taking care of our body and mind, keep healthy within so we can deal with the outside.
The better equipped we are the less stress we will have; the more will we be able to take on.
Some things take longer then other
Since we can’t predict what comes next nor when it will end, we should try not to think short term.
When our plans are derailed by external conditions, we don’t allow panic to set in, there’s no point.
We remind ourselves that we are free to add to our discomfort by making a fuss about it or not.
Besides, we’re better off using our energy where it counts and make the best of our challenges.
Forbearing the spiritual journey
“We all know people who cannot bear great suffering, but we do not realize that to fully enjoy great happiness also requires great strength and endurance.” Thich Nhat Hanh
Mundane problems bring about loads of frustrations, because as they pile-up they threaten ideals.
Similarly, endeavoring onto the spiritual path will have us face dissatisfactions especially if it’s motivated by deluded notions.
Unreasonable expectations lead to major disappointments, so we should really question our assumptions.
Our journey rests on our leaving concepts behind and that alone can be cause for distress.
Forbearance knows you can’t force it
When it comes to mind training, the harder you push the slower you go, you can’t precipitate results.
We must forbear not knowing where we’re going, accept the fruits of mind training as they come.
Sticking with a practice for a long period of time takes patient forbearance, faith and great diligence.
For while we work at improving ourselves, our progress is put to the test by day-to-day aggressions.
Steadiness in all affairs
“Perseverance means keeping at it despite the hardships.” Lama Zopa Rinpoche
Spiritual work is not divorced from life; thus, practitioners aspire to bring all worldly affairs to their meditation practice.
Doing so allows for a deeper understanding and a widening of the view, which brings things back to their true proportions.
Likewise, using problems as the main object of meditation helps overcome underlying fears, to face the ghosts.
As a result, we built-on confidence in our ability to work out any situation, to overcome any problem.
Realistic always
Our job is to lean on our practice, accept what comes knowing we can only hope things are for the best.
Instead of becoming bitter and disheartened every time something doesn’t work out, we hold fast.
By practicing forbearance, we rise above our littles problems, instead of losing our nerves we grow in resilience and wisdom.
Systematically inviting our troubles to careful observation, helps us not to fall off the ladder, to become better.
Trouble-free
“Forbearance has an even greater sense of quietly enduring.” Norman Fischer
Having faith in our own inner resources and innate ability to learn is of immense benefit.
Trusting your practice and believing you can better yourself is the ground for growing forbearance.
Confronting setbacks with the knowledge that everything is meant to change, fosters patience.
Our coming across uncertain times with the understanding that all that arises ultimately ends is uplifting.
Easy going
Meeting adversity does not need to be so frightening, if you cheerfully use it to your advantage.
True there may be times when you’re tired and all you want is a break, rely on your practice don’t quit.
Remember karma, cause and effect, do not respond to what seems bad with negativity, it will breed.
The more at ease you are with the uncomfortable, the more fearless and courageous you’ll become.
In the midst of misfortune pull yourself together, don’t lose sight of the present, what you do here matters.ॐ
Nathalie Bizawi, founder of Wisdom & Mindfulness meditation center. Senior Meditation, Mindfulness and philosophy instructor, From Wingate Academic College. M.A in Education from TAU University, Tel Aviv.
Wisdom & Mindfulness your meditation center in Tel Aviv