Wisdom & Mindfulness

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The suffering of the body | Living with disability

“Those disabled by ill health Are helpless, powerless to act.” Pema Chodron

The suffering of the body is an inevitable fact of life, but for some of us it means more than pain.

We all experience the momentary distress that comes with illness, the disturbance of bodily aches, and the discomfort it provokes.

What about those living with a physical disability? you can’t take a pill to recover and it’s here to stay.

Whether you were born with a handicap, suffered an injury or illness, you have no choice but live with it.

Easier said…

Unlike sickness, physical disability is not something you shake off, you wake up with it and go to bed with it.

If the actual suffering of the body weren’t enough, you have to face the emotional and bodily scars.

The struggles are many, still, you got to go about dealing with life’s ordinary problems, you must keep on living.

All of that requires inner strengths, the renewed will to transcend limitations moment after moment, and the resolve to thrive.

No ordinary battle

“This battle between individual will and the reality of life unfolding around us ends up consuming our lives.” Michael A. Singer

Life in general feels like a pressure cooker, we’re pushed and pulled from all sides, that’s challenging.

We’re met with demands that keep on piling up, juggling roles and responsibilities requires energy.

Even more so when we’re not at our best, that is, when our body or mind is not up to it.

Somehow, we must get it together, find the resources within to carry on, what other choice do we have?

Do more with less

Undoubtably, it takes a strong spirit to take on obstacles, to persist, press on, and push through.

Yet, we differ as individuals, dependent on our particulars, what’s easy to us is impossible to another.

Suffering an infirmity adds to the challenge, the smallest tasks involve more effort, both mental and physical.

Thus, overcoming the day to day entails more determination, tenacity and will, that’s even truer when it comes to milestones.

Making your mark

“There is no need to have many goals, one goal is enough.” Osho

Healthy or not most of us share the same life’s dreams, following our parents’ footsteps, satisfying societies expectations.

The list runs long… study, graduate, find a job, hold the job, get the promotion, enter meaningful relationships, keep the relationships…

We are made to believe happiness depends on it, no wonder the thought of failing is so scarry.

When our aims are put to the test, we struggle, we lose confidence, failure to comply becomes cause for suffering.

If only…

Life happens regardless, situations collide with our projects, we’re caught up in what seems like a wrestling match.

When the odds work against you, if on top of regular complications, you face realistic constraints, everything looks out of reach.

Dependent on how resilient you are, crises big and small carry the power to throw you out of balance.

Giving up is not an option, no matter your predicament, somehow you have to double your efforts, you make the difference.

Get down to it

“If one wishes to adjust the body, one must first adjust the mind.” Tony Page, Kosho Yamamoto

Any disability can be debilitating, especially at first, you need to adjust to the new, it takes a while.

That’s not something you can rush, you must go past the initial discomfort, here too to each its pace.

When it comes to recovery, most people think in terms of physical rehabilitation, that’s not enough.

Therapies can be lengthy and draining, it involves effort and pain, to face it you need a strong mind.

Make room

Patience here is key, don’t set things in stone, your body needs your full attention, apply yourself.

Take all the time you need, celebrate your effort, rejoice with every success, pat yourself on the back.

Be your best friend, there is no way you can be well in your body if you’re not well with yourself.

That’s true for all of us, we ought to look at ourselves with compassion and acceptance, not with pity or disdain.

Don’t fall to victimhood

“Just as the plantain fruit has nothing solid inside it, so is it with the body of all beings.” Buddha

Everybody has a sad story to tell about themselves, some more traumatic than others, but it doesn’t define who you are.

Do not let tragedy strike twice, what happened to you is now past, you’ve survived to tell the tale!

Scratching your scars, mental or bodily, won’t have them heal, on the contrary, it will pull you back.

Having a pity party is no solution, neither is hiding away, both are recipes for depression, don’t go there.

The suffering of the body | Don’t be hard

If you tend towards self-criticism, because we’ve picked up the habit in childhood or because of low self-esteem, either way stop!

Shame works like poison; it affects the way you see yourself and puts limitations on what you can do.

Forget weaknesses, focus your attention on your strengths, you are the sum of what you can become.   

The only real obstacles are the ones we ourselves create in our mind, it’s time to embrace your potential.

Mind your beliefs

“People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities.” Albert Bandura

Getting back on our feet after having been knock down takes strong will and a certain level of commitment.

The effort you put in depends on your determination to stick with it even when you experience setbacks.

In the end, success and failure rest on your drive to persevere, it’s all about your mental attitude.

To ensure we stay motivated, we’d better check whether or not we’ve put limits on ourselves.

keep right views

The ideas we hold can be productive or counterproductive, so beware of self-limiting beliefs.

Whether we’re aware of it or not, what we think we can or cannot do influences what we’re willing to try out.

If you believe you are set to fail, you will have a hard time coming crunch time, watch your mindset!

Encourage yourself, you have it in you to move beyond the imaginary boundaries you’ve drawn out there.

Suffering of the body | Practice forbearance

“Energy is a combination of skillful means and patience. It is being forbearing or hardworking. In other words, you are not defeated by any situation, but you are continuously going on.” Chogyam Trungpa, Judith L. Lief

You have been through the worst and made it alive, now trust you can beat whatever you put your mind into.

Yes, there will be times when you have neither will nor energy to pull your own weight, give it a rest.

After you do, go back at it, steadiness is your only ally, do not let your mind beat you down.

You’re in charge of keeping the fire alive, be diligent, put both body and mind to work.

Deal with negativity

Pre-emptive measures are always best, start your day with a healthy reminder, “I can because I will”.

If you catch yourself lacking motivation, shake it out, don’t give in to pain and the messages it sends.

Use meditation to familiarize yourself with it, breathe with it, get used to transitory discomfort.

The thicker your skin the better, you’re as resilient as what you are willing to endure, you can do this シ

Enlist help

“Without an intimate, deep relationship with at least one person, transformation is unlikely.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Arnold Kotler, Mayumi Oda

No one can do it alone! Rely on the people around you to support you, be open to get some help, ask.

Most people feel uncomfortable reaching out, now is not the time to live in isolation, on the contrary.

Surround yourself with those you feel most comfortable with, your inner circle can inspire you or discourage you, choose well.

If you can’t find the encouragement you need, look for a community that will, get in touch…  

Pick the right crowd

There are plenty of good hearts out there, associations and organizations are here to offer their aid.

Take part, try out different things until it clicks, connect with people who fight the same battles.

Dare to experiment, find the activities that fill you with joy and a sense of accomplishment, push yourself.

Get yourself out of your comfort zone, go with pursuits that are not too easy nor too hard, press on.

The suffering of the body, living with a disability is not a sentence but an opportunity to go beyond yourselfॐ

Nathalie Bizawi, founder of Wisdom & Mindfulness meditation center. Senior Meditation, Mindfulness and philosophy instructor, From Wingate Academic College. M.A in Education from TAU University, Tel Aviv.

 

Wisdom & Mindfulness your meditation center in Tel Aviv